Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
