i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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