i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
