You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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