just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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