last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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