Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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