lets start a swedish sibling band together
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
