I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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