I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Less talking, more tequila
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
