Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
