Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
