I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
