just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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