No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He passed out mid-signature
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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