you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
