i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
