Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize