Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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