HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
