hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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