So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
