playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just invented taco cereal.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
