Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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