so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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