I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
