U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
