We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Damn victory sex feels great
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
