my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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