Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
