what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
