I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
