that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
