I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think a kid would responsible me up
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
