how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
