I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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