I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
