does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
