She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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