Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
