Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
