I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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