R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
