I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
