i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
