We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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