My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize