So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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