I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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