drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
