Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
