Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
