Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
