yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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