whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
