i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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