Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
