I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
