Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Randomize
