i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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