Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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