so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
