Say something about gay babies.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
