Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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