Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize