I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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