he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
